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Doubts, Insecurities & Rokha

Pammy informed Shehnaaz about the proposal , once she was back from her work making her panic as she didn't wanted to leave her mother alone nor the marriage thing was in her head . Later Pammy made her understand and informed her about the meeting with her would be family . Shehnaaz took half day leave from her work .

Shehnaaz , Pammy meet Sidharth grandfather , dadu had informed them about Sidharth . He said he is in meeting would join them in few minutes .

When Sidharth entered making shehnaaz nervously play with her chuni . She didn't look at him for once , but she can feel his gaze on her . His voice was hard yet filled with concern , when he asked his dadu is he fine she felt his love and concern for his dadu . But when he asked his dadu about her willing , she was shocked to see him considering her will .

Pammy asked Sidharth " Beta , aap ko koi problem nahi ki meri Beti pade likhi nhi hai . Na vo ... " She didn't even completed when sidharth said " Shehnaaz mere dadu ki pasand hai aur mujhe koi etraz nahi hai " .

( Son , you don't have any problem that she is not educated and not .. )

( Shehnaaz is My Grandfather's choice and I don't have any problem with it )

" Beta bura mat man na lakin saat me tho aap dono ko rahna hai " she said .

( Dear no offense but you both will stay together right ? )

" Nahi Aunty aap ek maa hai , main samaj sakta hun aapka concern . Aap apne beti ko le kar mujpar bharosa kar rah hai tho main puri koshish karunga vo bharosa kabhi tute na " he said making Pammy take a relief breath as she thought he is assuring her , Dadu looked at him grinning proudly patting his back .

( No aunty your mother I understand your concern . You are trusting me with your daughter and I will try my best not to break your trust )

Shehnaaz looked up for once out of curiosity when he was saying . He looked sinfully handsome , is she going to marry this man ? Man who is assuring her mother , when he looked at her with his corner of his eyes caught her looking at him . Shehnaaz immediately moved her gaze from him to the floor making him chukcle innerly .

" Mujhe Shehnaaz se baat karne hai " he said making everyone nod head in positively and Shehnaaz her jaw drop at his boldness she is shaking in nervousness .

( I want to talk with Shehnaaz )

" Beta jao koi sawal ya confusion hai tho puch lena " dadu said . Shehnaaz looked at her mother she squeezed her hand assuring her they are here , around her no need to fear . Nodding her head she got up and followed him .

( Dear ho , if you have any questions ask him )

Sidharth stood at the other side leaning on the wall he kept looking at her and Shehnaaz kept looking at floor . 5 minutes passed no one said a word , she kept playing with her chuni . Breaking the silence he said " Tum kush ho matlab is rishte se ya koi aur pasand hai tumhe " he asked her not playing around what he wanted to know he asked her directly .

( Are you happy with alliance or you like someone )

Shehnaaz looked at him with her wide eyes and immediately nodded in no . He kept looking at her raised his right eyebrow asking , " ji " she said but words were not forming as he kept looking at her making her more nervous . She feels herself very tiny infront of his broad form and now his gaze and his dominating voice took her the little courage away from her which was left .

( Yes )

Sidharth bending down a little keeping his hands in his pocket he asked again " kuch pucha hai maine , jawab aj he dogi na " he said making her shiver at his voice .

( I asked you something , will you answer it today or )

Tears formed at back of eyes nodding her head again , she said slowly her voice was barely visible " ji hum hume koi pareshani nahi " but he can sense her voice cracking . He felt bad and noted that she get scared easily .

( Yes I don't have any problem )

" Okay " he said in curt voice and asked again this time in normal voice making her calm a little .

" Koi pasand hai ? Ya kisi ko chahte ho ? " he asked making her nod negatively saying " ji nahi " .

( You like someone or you want to be with someone you like )

( No )

" Okay tumhe koi sawal nahi puchna " he asked . He was asking and she was only nodding or giving short answers . In his life this is first time he is initiating the conversation all the time he would be the one to answer shortly or just nod at the other person .

( You don't want to ask any questions )

Shehnaaz nodded her head in No , she don't know what to ask ? . He nodded his head at her " tik hai phir chale ? " he said .

( Okay let's move )

When she said slowly , making him stop on his track . " Vo mujhe Kam karna hai " she said as she knows once she is married then their will be extra responsibility on her head . She don't know if her in-laws allow her to work or not . How will her mother take care of herself alone , no one is their to support her financially .

( That I want to work )

He looked at her " vo super market me " she nods at him little shock he knows where she works , he knows because his dadu shared her information to him already . He got idea why she wanted to continue this job , she wanted to support her mother financially . They were dependent on each other till now , his IQ level is so dam good he reads the people easily .

( In the supermarket )

Will he send her to work , at that place ? She did it till now because her life didn't left any choice to her , to survive and support her mother she did it what ever job she got . But know everything is going to change .

He was about to say when his phone rang making him excuse himself from her but not before giving a nod to her . But she didn't understand what that nod for ? He guestered something to his dadu and left the place , giving a small nod to her mother who smiled back looking at him then Shehnaaz .

*****

Shehnaaz POV :

" Shehnaaz beta kya sonch rahe hai tu " I heard my mother as I was making her bed .

( Shehnaaz dear what are you thinking )

" kuch nahi maa bas " I said correcting the pillow , taking another sheet I spread it on the ground making my bed their .

( Nothing mom just like that )

" Ider aa bait bol mujhe konse baat tujhe pareshan kar rahe hai " my mother asked taking my hands in her making me sit beside her on the bed .

( Come here and sit , now say what is bothering you )

I sighed knowing she won't leave me untill I tell her , " maa vo log itne Amir hai aur pade likhe hai , phir mujhse kyun shadi karne hai unhe " I asked the thought is eating my mind .

( Mom they are so rich and educated , why they want to marry me )

Yes I remembered very well he said he is ready to marry me because I'm his grandfather choice but when I become their choice out of no where . I was not from their class nor I even completed my education . I'm nothing compared to anyone so why me ? .

" Tum he kyun ? Iska mere pass koi jawab nahi hai Shehnaaz lakin jodiyan bhagwan banata hai . Agar uperwale ne tum dono ko ek rishte me banda hai tho kuch kyun ke jawab nhi hote " maa said making me more confuse . Seeing my confused face she chuckled .

( Why you ? I don't have any answer dear . God makes the pairs if God United you guys together then for some questions their is no answer )

" Meri gudiya hai he itni pyaari koi bhi pasand kar lega " she said .

( And my princess is so lovely , everyone like you )

" Hume dar lag raha hai maa " I said keeping my head in her lap and her fingers caressed her hairs . I'm scared damn scared to think about living my home , my mother the only family I have till now . How will I live with him , his family they are still stranger to me .

( Mom I'm afraid )

" Mujhe tho ladka bahut pasand aya , kitne ache sanskar hai . Bado ki izat karna , kitna mehnati hai . Pratap ji ne bataya kaise vo din raat ek kar ke kam karta hai , aj ke zamane me kon milega jo apne dadu ki pasand ke ladke se shadi kare " she praised him making an unknown sensation passed through my body , I smiled agreeing to her .

( I like the boy , he is ethics manners and respects elders . And Pratap sir had informed he works hard day and night . In today's generation where will we find a guy like him who agrees to marry a girl , who is grandfather's choice )

" Main haa bol diya beta unhe " she asked me I looked up at her getting up from her lap I said " maa aap ko chod ke main kaise ... " .

( I had said Yes to them )

( Mom how will I leave you alone )

" Sana mera bacha tum meri fikar chod do apne faisla batao , kya tum kush ho Sidharth se shadi ke liye " she asked .

( Dear you don't worry about me , say what's your answer Are you happy with this marriage )

" Mujhe nahi karne shadi maa , aapko chod kar nahi jana mujhe " saying I cried hiding myself in her embrace .

( I don't want to marry , i don't want to leave you and go )

She caressed my hairs patting my back she said " ek na ek din har ladki ko shadi kar ke Vida karna hota hai beta . Aur mai tumare liye itna acha ristha kabhi dund ke nahi la paungi " .

( One day every girl has to get married and leave . And I can't find alliance like this again )

" Par maa " I was cut of by " par var kuch nahi Shehnaaz , tum abhi apne bare me soncho . Mera kya hai beta aj dharti ke uper hu kal dharti ke ander " she said her eyes were moist .

( But mom )

( No But's and if's Shehnaaz , Now you think about yourself . Today I'm here and tomorrow I will be buried under the ground )

" Maa isa mat bolo please mai kaha jaungi agar aap isa kahenge tho " I said my tears were continously rolling down .

( Mom please don't say like this , where will I go without you )

" Vahi tho beta meri fikar hai agar mujhe kuch hogaya tho tere kya hoga , akele kaise rahegi tu . Ye duniya jeene nahi degi beta " she said wenting out her fear .

( That is my worry dear , if something happens to me . Their is no one for you to take care . This world doesn't let you live peacefully )

" Maa roo tho nahi , aap ise kyun bol rahe ho . Kuch nahi hoga aapko main kabhi nahi jane dungi aapko " I said hugging her tightly .

( Mom don't cry , why are you talking like this . Nothing is going to happen I will not let you leave me )

" Shehnaaz hume nahi pata kal ka suraj hamare naseeb me hai ya nahi aur jab hume itne ache log samne se ho kar rishte lee aye hai tho Mai apne beti ki khushiyon ke liye khudgarz bana chahte hu . Mere beti ko sare duniya ka pyaar aur kushiyan mile " saying she kissed my forehead wipping my tears .

( Shehnaaz we don't know if we will see tomorrow's sunrise or not . When the people themself came and asking for your hand then I want to be selfish for my daughter's happiness . I want my daughter to get all the love and happiness )

" Maa aap jaise chahte hai vaisa he hoga lakin please ye sab baate dubara na bole mujhe acha nahi lagta " I said .

( Mom whatever you wish I'm ready but please don't talk like this again . I don't like it )

" Mujhe maf kardo beta , mai tumhe ise zindagi de jaha sirf taklif hai . Tumhe apne padai bichme chodne padi , itne kam umar me itni samajdar ban gayi Kabhi parivar ka pyaar he nahi mila tumhe mere vajese " she said again she is wenting out her pain .

( Sorry dear , I gave you life were their was only troubles at every stage . You left your education become so mature in the young age . You didn't get family love because of me )

" Nahi maa , isa nahi hai . Main bahut kush hu aap isa na bole . Aap kyun aj ise bahki bahki baate kar rahe ho , aap mujhe daara rahe ho maa " I said taking her hands .

( No mom it's nothing like that . I'm happy you don't say like this . Why are you talking nonsense today . You are scaring me )

" Meri bachi tik hai ab se no roona , chalo ache se hasdo . Ab mere lado duhlan banegi kitne badi hogaye hai meri bachi " she said cupping my face .

( My baby its okay now don't cry , smile . Now my lovely daughter will become bride . You become big so soon )

" Nahi main tho abhi bhi aapki choti se gudiya hu " I said snuggling into her warmth making her laugh saying " jab tere chote chote bache hongey tabhi bhi tu mere liye meri choti se gudiya he rahegi " she said , instantly my cheeks heated up .

( No I'm your little daughter )

( When you will have your kid then also you will remain my sweat little daughter )

" Kya maa shadi ke baat ho rahe hai aap bache tak chale gaye " I said covering her with the blanket she chuckled . Then I laid down thinking about my unknown future and drifted into the deep slumber .

( What Mom here we are talking about marriage and you gone to grand kids )

*******

Sidharth was in his cabin checking the file when his friends barged in like always making him roll his eyes " You know there are some manners knock karna hota hai before you enter " he said .

" Lakin ye hamare liye nahi hai , hum dost hai kider bhi ane Jane ki free entry hai hamare pass " Kaushal said he is lawyer by profession , handles legal department of Sidharth . Married to his love Shivani , settling on the sofa .

( But this rule doesn't apply for us because we can come at anytime anywhere )

Ken asked " humne kuch suna hai kya vo sach hai " . He is fashion designer by profession , currently dating niya .

( We got some information is it true ? )

" Ye tho pehele se he kuch bolta nahi tha , ab tho bhul he jayega hume " Raghav said dramatically who is single . Making Sidharth throw his pen on him which hit his shoulder .

( He won't share anything since begining now he will totally forget us )

" Agar dadu na baata te tho hume pata he nahi chalta " Kaushal said , as dadu called ken for designing SidNaaz clothes for their rokha function . When his friends got to know about Sidharth seeing bride and his rokha is tomorrow .

( What if Grandfather didn't informed us , we won't even know anything what is happening )

Their was knock on the door Come in Sidharth said , as his PA entered saying " sir had asked to clear you shedule for tomorrow " Sidharth nod at him not before asking " Is their any important work ? " .

" No sir , just visiting site . It can be rescheduled . You are absolutely free sir " he said making Sidharth nod at him and he left .

" Kamino mujhe he ab pata chala , mai kya bata tha tumhe " sidharth said .

( I got to know now , when do I get time to share it with you )

" Acha phir kal ladki dekhne kon gaya tha " they asked in union .

( Okay , who went to see the gril yesterday ? )

" Ab kya chahiye tumko ? " He asked not biting the around .

( Now what you want ? )

" Bhabhi se milna hai kon hai jo hamare kadhos ko jhelne ke liye tayar hai " raghav said receiving glare from him .

( We want to meet our sister-in-law , we want to see who is ready to bare you )

" Kal deklena " Sidharth said making them pout sadly at him .

( See her tomorrow )

" Chalo mere pass bahut kam hai kal sab ke liye kapde ready karne hai , bewakufo jaa jaa ke kam karo " saying ken hugged Sidharth congratulating him and left .

( Okay I have work need to design dresses for everyone . You go and do some work )

" Ye kya bezati kar ke gaya " raghav asked Kaushal who nodded saying " mujhe bhi yahi lagta hai " .

( He went insulting us )

" Use badme dek lengy " saying both jumped on sidharth congratulating him .

( We will see him afterwards )

Dadu was waiting for Sidharth on the dinning table , he joined after freshing up . Sidharth uncle anut and his cousins were seated , when dadu said gaining everyone's attention " Sidharth ka rokha hai kal , aur jaise Sidharth chahta hai sab functions APNA GHAR me ho tho kal sare ready hojana time pe " .

( Tomorrow is Rokha function as Sidharth wanted every function to happen in Apna Ghar so everyone get ready on time )

All were shocked but dady and Sidharth were having their dinner . " Kya shadi Bhai ki ? " said his cousin Paras in shock . He could not digest the fact that his brother is ready to get hitched . And who is the lady was the big question to him ?

( What Brother's marriage ? )

" Haa kyun isme konsa surprise hai ? " Dadu said .

( Yes , is it surprising )

" Haa nahi nahi congratulations Bhai " Paras said faking smile .

( Yes , No )

" Congratulations Bhai " Maya said , Sidharth nodded at them .

" Ladki kon hai , humse milaya he nahi " his anuty said his dadu raised his eyebrow saying " hume tumhe batana jaruri nahi samja " .

( Who is the girl , we didn't meet her )

( We didn't feel to inform you )

" Haa *she smiled stupidly at everyone* aap kam me busy the na bhul gaye hongey " she said trying to cover up her embarrassed self .

( Yes you were busy with work , must be forgotten )

" Mubarako beta " his uncle said totally ignoring his wife .

( Congratulations son )

After dinner , Sidharth was in dadu room . His dadu was resting on the bed and he was standing near the window looking at the sky . " Sidharth " his dadu called he turned and sat beside him .

" Kya hua hai ? " His dadu asked .

( What happened )

" Ye sab kuch jada jalde nahi ho raha " he said as he felt he just meet her yesterday and everything is going hurriedly .

( Everything is happening so fast )

" Nahi bilkul nahi , maine kitna wait Kiya pata bhi hai tumhe . Bahut jalde nahi abhi bahut late hogaya hai , Teri Umar me meri ... " Was cut of by Sidharth who completed his sentence " haa pata hai meri umar me aapko mere papa bhi hogaye the " .

( No not at all , you know I'm waiting for so long . It's not soon , it's already late in your age I was .. )

( Yes I know in my age you already had my father )

Next day , they were leaving for the Apna Ghar for the ceremony . Apna Ghar was fully decorated in the garden . Sidharth and dadu in one car , his friends in other and his cousin family in one .

Ken had sent everyone's designer dress to them at night .

Priest came , shehnaaz and her mother were already present their . All the children's were present their .

Looking at Shehnaaz everyone attracted to her , Sidharth eyes didn't left her . He was far from her still taking glances of her .

" Hello bhabhi mai Raghav , ye ken aur ye chodo na hume kya .. ap bataye " he was cut of by Kaushal " ise kaise chode , bhabhi mai kaushal aapka devar , Bhai aapko Jo mana hai manle " he said farwarding his hand to shake .

( I'm Raghav , this is Ken and this let's leave them who cares .. you say )

( Who cares haa , sister-in-law this is Kaushal your brother-in-law , brother whatever you want me to be )

Raghav jerked his hand making Kaushal hit him , all the while Shehnaaz looked at them nervously . She is introvert never had this kind of social gathering in her life . Everything is new for her .

The Tom and Jerry fight was going on between Kaushal and Raghav , ken was trying to stop them . Sidharth was seeing everything from far as he was performing some pooja . His dadu , Shehnaaz mother and his anuty was beside him . Paras and Maya were not interested in any of it . So they were busy with their phone .

Their bickering stopped When ken said " Sher dek raha hai tumhe abhi dhahadega na phir deklena " he warned them as Sidharth was keeping his eye on them . When Shehnaaz mother called Shehnaaz to join .

( Lion is seeing you , he is ready to haunt )

Pammy put the tilak on Sid gave shagun to him . Shehnaaz had performed the same and Sidharth aunty had done the same putting tilak and giving shagun .

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